


Writing Diary

by Tigerlily_Wildflower



Category: Fallout 4, Original Work
Genre: Don't Judge Me, Multi, pet project
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:41:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 4,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22109536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tigerlily_Wildflower/pseuds/Tigerlily_Wildflower
Summary: This is a collection of my "lightbulb" moments. I’ll write entries based on something that inspires me, whether it be music, nature, an old memory, etc.





	1. Entry #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired to write this while listening to Cotton Candy Stand by Derek and Brandon Fietcher

The sugary sweet cotton candy melting on my tongue took me back to the time I went to the circus. I loved every second of it. Horses reared in front of the stands and pranced in all kinds of formations. The acrobats leaped and twirled in the air. The clowns made me laugh with their silly pantomimes. The lion tamer amazed me as she cried out each one’s name. The daredevil jumped through a flaming hoop on his motorcycle. As the memory faded back into the recesses of my thoughts, I thanked the little girl for sharing some of her treat with me.


	2. Entry #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired to write this by an actual experience of mine

I walked out of my house and was met with a mystical sight. As dawn broke in the east, the full moon was still shining in the west. Gray streaks of cloud complimented the pale yellows and blues of the sky. The snow sparkled in the weak daylight and I felt as if I’d been transported into another world. The only thing stopping me from being transfixed was the walk to the bus stop.


	3. Entry #3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I stumbled across a writing prompt that required me to use this line:
> 
> “Silvery flakes drifted downward, glittering in the bright light of the harvest moon. The blackbird soared overhead”
> 
> I tweaked the line a bit and wrote this entry.

Silvery flakes drift downward, glittering in the bright light of the harvest moon. The blackbird soars overhead, looking for me. The runaway from Albeon. Whenever someone escapes from the city, he sends out his familiars to look for them. I don’t dare to even _think_ of who he is, for he is the evil that rules over Albeon. Ever since he took over, the city has slowly been deteriorating. Now it falls on me, Evelyn the unwanted orphan girl, to save my city from destruction.


	4. Entry #4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the events leading up to my first kiss. 
> 
> The first song in this EP helped me write this, I recommend listening to it for full effect https://soundcloud.com/111h111/becoming-ep

Kit climbed into Teddy’s lap and wrapped herself around her in a full body embrace. She smiled to herself and wrapped her arms around her in return. The two of them fit together like puzzle pieces. She lifted her head and she rested her forehead against hers as their breathing intermingled. They stayed like that for a while, and they were at peace.


	5. Entry #5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this one at 3 in the morning while wishing I could cuddle with my girl.

The pair stared at the full size bed. He motioned for her to lay down first, which she did. He let her get comfortable before he laid down beside her. He knew that they were sharing the bed out of necessity, so that they could save as much money as possible during their trip. Yet he couldn’t help but notice how she subconsciously moved closer to him. How she curled her body to fit into his like a puzzle piece. He sighed and rested his head on the pillow. He then curled a protective arm around his companion's waist before drifting off to Dreamland.


	6. Entry #6

Some say that you’ll find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Others believe that you’ll find a leprechaun who will grant you one of your greatest desires. Most believe you’ll find both a leprechaun and his pot of gold. But there are a select few who speculate about what happens if you step through the rainbow. There are theories of eternal happiness. Others theorize think you’ll find your soulmate the very next day. Still others theorize nothing will happen. But there are a select few who have gone through. When they came back, they told tales of dragons, elves, unicorns, and other mythical creatures that live together in harmony and help each other. The sun shines every day with the occasional bout of rain. Everyone is at peace and nobody knows the meaning of the word “war.”


	7. Entry #7

I walk along the sandy riverbank, listening to the water’s musical babble. The water is calm, cool, and crystal clear. The riverbed is made of rounded black pebbles. The sounds of the moonlit forest surround me with its chirping crickets and gentle rustling of leaves. I find it to be a soothing melody to calm my anxious mind.


	8. Entry #8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written during the Covid-19 Quarantine in March 2020

She sat there wallowing in her sorrow. The quarantine had only been going for about a week and a half with no end in sight. She was in desperate need of affection; but the kind she needed wasn’t available to her. The distance between her and the source was too great, and the social distancing was starting to drive her crazy. She’d tried to call him, but he declined her call and said to call him back later. She needed him so _badly_ ; but she was forced to wait. She wasn’t sure how long the quarantine would be, but she had a feeling she wouldn’t have the strength to get through it. 


	9. Entry #9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little Fallout drabble, I’m proud of it because it’s my first entry in an established universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For enhanced reading experience, listen to Hope by Daughter

Camilla and Piper walked through the despair-filled radioactive Commonwealth in the weak light of dawn. But as they crested the ridge, they could see Diamond City highlighted by the sun’s orange light in the distance. Camilla paused a moment to take in the sight. Piper looked back to see her friend standing there then jogged back over to check on her.

“Hey Blue, you okay?” She asked as her face contorted with worry.

“Yea, I’m fine. Thanks Pipes…” she said before trailing off into her thoughts. “I’m just happy people have started to rebuild. It’s comforting to know that there’s hope for the future.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me now, you dork! Come on, let’s get back then you can do all the reminiscing you want,” Piper replied with laughter following shortly after. Camilla smiled and shook her head. She knew she was being sappy, but she did believe there was hope for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a burning need to write a story while listening to Hope by Daughter. I started to write something entirely different but I knew it wouldn’t work. Fallout was the only thing that would work with this song.


	10. Entry #10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an assignment in English class during my junior year of high school in which I was required to write something concerning American society. The topic I chose was the unrealistic expectations of how people should look.

My name is Angel, which is ironic since I am a mischievous rebel. I tend to dress more in a stereotypical goth style, with plenty of blacks and grays. I do not meet society’s expectation of the “Barbie doll” type of women. This means that according to American culture, I am an outcast; Which means I tend to get picked on and bullied a lot in school. Though I have my girlfriend, Echo, to help defend me. She is an outcast like me; since we are both part of the LGBTQ+ community. I’m sure you know how well respected our community is, especially with all the homophobic individuals out there. Yet being an outcast can be a valuable personality trait. I have a personal motto: “Conforming is boring.” You are your own individual. It does not matter if society doesn’t like you. The only important thing is that you love yourself for who you are.


	11. Entry #11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this entry while listening to Leaves and Lemons by Patty Gurdy. I highly recommend listening to the song while reading this entry, as it will enhance your experience! :3

My sunny yellow dress billowed in the breeze as I ran through the waist-high field of golden wheat; laughing as my friends chased after me. My bare feet left prints in the soft dirt with each step and the laughter surrounding me left an imprint on my heart. I would be leaving for the city at the end of the summer to attend school. The field was quickly coming to an end and I started to panic. I needed to find a way to outrun my friends and win the game. I spotted green leaves and yellow lemons in my peripheral vision and a lightbulb went off in my head. I could lose them in the lemon orchard! I veered to the right as my friends closed in on me. Rose missed my shoulder by an _inch_ as I ran into a row of the orchard. The wind propelled my momentum as it blew from behind me, pushing me to run even faster. My friends were fast, but they weren’t _that_ fast. By the time Rose and the others had made it into the orchard, I was already at the other end of it. They caught up to me and we all smiled at each other. My heart fluttered as my friends embraced me in a group hug, with me in the middle. I would miss them when I left for the city, but they knew I’d be back next summer. After all, I never leave my family behind.


	12. Entry #12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a poem in 9th grade called Knox’s Life: From Birth to Death
> 
> This is the first part of said poem

**Youth**

  
My mother does my laundry

For I am young

Everything is handed to me

I’m amazed by the simplest of things

Like tall trees dancing in the wind

And fuzzy little bees

I’m easily scared by loud bangs

I have no responsibilities

I don’t do work

And I know I won’t

Until I’m much older


	13. Entry #13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 2nd part of Knox’s Life

**Adolescence**

  
I hate school

Even though I have many friends

I rarely get any sleep

I stay up at night doing homework

Dawn will slowly creep up on me

I never realize it until I see

Stars slowly fade from the sky

I want to drop out of school

But that’s when I realize,

It will help me get a job


	14. Entry #14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 3rd part of Knox’s Life

**Maturity**

  
I hate my boss

I wish I could quit

I barely have any friends

I have a wife named Kate

She’s a hospice nurse

So, she usually works late

My job consists of nothing but

Endless hours of typing papers,

Taking stupid phone calls,

My life is a curse

Nobody will rid me

Of my glorious misery


	15. Entry #15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 4th and final part of Knox’s Life

**Death**

  
I want my pain to end

It’s ironic that my wife

Is taking care of me

Or maybe it’s iconic

I don’t know anymore

  
Something doesn’t feel right

I feel groggy

My mind is foggy

I can see a bright white light

I fall asleep and I

Hear the quiet beep

Grow softer and softer

Until I hear it no longer


	16. Entry #16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a project in 8th grade history to write an immigrant’s diary. I chose to write from an Irish immigrant’s POV and the character who wrote the diary is named Lyla Blackstone.
> 
> This is the first entry of said diary.

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow's the day! I'm finally going to America! I'm going to miss everyone here in Dublin....especially my best friend, Tigerlily. Even though life in this little Dublin village was boring, she somehow brought...color...to this village with her very colorful personality. I miss my mom...even though I barely knew her as I was three when she died, I know she'd be proud of me. Dad's working a lot just to be able to support the two of us...I rarely see him for more than a couple hours because he's working so hard. I want to move to America to escape my fear of poverty because we always have JUST enough money to make it through the day without going hungry. Basically, we live from paycheck to paycheck without any money left over. I'm tired of it...I don't want to keep living in this fear! It haunts me in my nightmares and I'm always thinking: "What if daddy doesn't come home with enough money?" My sister, Lily Blackstone, is waiting for me in this place called Rochester, New York over in America. I can't wait to see her again! She left four years ago and after she left, I missed her terribly! But it was worth waiting four years because she saved up enough money for a cabin ticket and sent it to me! Sadly, daddy can't come because Lily couldn't afford it....but that's ok! At least I won't have to go through what people are saying is the most HUMILIATING inspection ever! Thanks Lily!


	17. Entry #17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 2nd entry of Lyla Blackstone’s diary.

Dear Diary,

I'm at the port now! I'm anxious to get on the boat though. I've already said goodbye to my father and Tigerlily's come to see me off. Tigerlily and I have been friends for as long as I can remember! We've gone to school together, we've played Irish Bulldogs during recess with some other friends, and we've always eaten lunch together! I'm scared because I'm adventuring into the unknown and I don’t know what lies ahead! The ship's pulling in now...I have to part ways with her! I'm going to miss her a LOT! I hope we cross paths again soon. I need to board the ship soon! It looks _super_ fancy compared to the measly fishing boats we have in Dublin. I hope they have good food and I also hope that there will be some kids my age too! I'm going to stop writing so that I can focus on boarding now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Irish Bulldogs, children form a group behind one line some distance away from an opposite line, while the person who's "it" stands in the middle and calls out somebody's name. Then that person must run to the opposite line without being tagged. Once someone is tagged, they join the center player, and both kids call "Irish Bulldogs!" Everyone runs to the opposite line, and those tagged remain in the center. The sequence is repeated until only one person is left. They are crowned as the winner!


	18. Entry #18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 3rd entry of Lyla Blackstone’s diary.

Dear Diary,

I've spent three days on this godforsaken ship and I'm _tired_ of it! The cabin passengers are very arrogant and the kids that _are_ my age won't even talk to me because I'm a "peasant"! DO I LOOK LIKE A PEASANT TO YOU????? If I _was_ a "peasant" I wouldn’t have been able to afford a cabin ticket, now would I? Stupid rich people...always thinking they're better than the lower classmen. I'M SICK OF BEING TREATED LIKE GARBAGE! Well, at least the food is comforting! They served deer, bacon, potatoes, frumenty, black pudding, and, my favorite, Shepard's Pie! The beds weren't as soft as back home, but they were soft enough for me to sleep on. The bathroom was clean enough for people to use and I have my _own_ room! Goodie! Now people won't be able to see what I'm writing...I didn’t mind Tigerlily peeping over my shoulder because she's not a blabbermouth. Some people on this ship can't shut their mouths for even a _second_! It gets annoying very quickly. Wait a sec....THE SHIP JUST PASSED THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!!!! HOLY SHIT! I’m almost to Ellis Island...I just need to calm down a bit. I'll write again once I get settled into my "tenement" with Lily. She said she'd be at the port waiting for me...I do hope she's there!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frumenty is a fermented mixture of cracked wheat and heated milk
> 
> Black pudding is made from animal blood, some type of grain, mainly barley, and seasoning


	19. Entry #19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 4th and final entry of Lyla Blackstone’s diary.

Dear Diary,

I have officially settled into my tenement with Lily! We have our own tenement together (that's kinda dirty) and a job together too! We both work in a clothing factory owned by a really MEAN manager! Lily works on making clothes because she's sixteen and I work in between the machines because I'm thirteen! The factory is kinda dark, very dirty, and some kids have tattered clothes while others are even shoeless! I feel bad for them because they must be very poor and have many hardships. It's a good thing we only have to pay 10 cents for the both of us to stay in our own tenement! Ah yes, about Ellis Island...I only spent three hours there! I passed all the inspections and the inspector didn’t question my age! Anyways, our neighborhood is very crowded, and we have REALLY noisy neighbors! I managed to make a friend! She said her name is Firefly Wildfire. Bonus! She's my age! We share some of the same interests and it turns out that Tigerlily is her pen pal! So I’ll be able to stay in touch with my friend. My sister gets paid $5.50 a week and I get paid $2.75 per week. If we combine that, minus the 10 cents to pay for our tenement, we have a total of $8.15 which is triple than what daddy was paid! I'm so glad I moved to America!


	20. Entry #20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is loosely based off a conversation I had with my girlfriend. Names are changed to protect identities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trademarking my quote:
> 
> “50 Shades of Grey is the BDSM version of Twilight”
> 
> Also, bold text represents Emily’s response in the conversation.

Lilith lays in bed, staring at the ceiling. She thinks back to the conversation she had with her girlfriend, Emily, just before bed.

* * *

“I’m feel more comfortable telling about myself at night, since I feel more confident. Night just hits different, y’know?”

**“Yeah, I know what you mean.”**

“Cuz like, there’s a side of my personality that you’ve really only seen glimpses of.”

**“And why is that?”**

Her thoughts and words diverged at that point. She always felt comfortable sharing the more unusual things with her girlfriend, but she didn’t want to scare her away by showing her the dominant side. She wanted to take the easy way out and say _“Because it’s fun to let you win!”_

But she knew that she’d regret not having this talk when she had the perfect opportunity to, since the topic was always hard for her to bring up. So, she screwed up her courage and pressed on.

“It’s mainly because that side, the dominant side, of me is extremely possessive, prone to marking, aggressive, by which I mean only coming up for air when absolutely necessary, and a little on the kinky side. Before you say anything, _50 Shades of Grey_ is basically the BDSM version of Twilight. It inaccurately portrays that dynamic purely for the convenience of plot! Those types of relationships should be safe, sane, and consensual. The whole idea behind those relationships is to build a strong sense of trust in each other.”

She proceeded to explain everything she knew about the dynamic as she looked at the plot for that particular book. She explained how the plot raised so many red flags and explained why the flags were there. Emily was silent except for the occasional reply to a question Lilith would ask. Once she’d finished explaining, she took a deep breath and sighed.

“I’m sorry for dumping all this info on you…do you have any questions?”

“No, and you haven’t done anything wrong. You have no reason to be sorry.”

“I was hesitant to tell you about this because I was afraid you’d dump me cuz most people are put off by this kind of thing and I thought you’d be one of them.”

**“Why would I ever hurt you like that?”**

“I don’t know…I gotta go, it’s past my bedtime. Please take this time to process the info and you can ask me any questions you have tomorrow. Goodnight, I love you.”

“ **Goodnight, love you too.”**

* * *

Emily’s response was half of the reason Lilith was still awake. It echoed in her head and wouldn’t stop echoing. The other half was that she didn’t know what Emily thought of her after she shared her secret. Before drifting into an uneasy slumber, the last thought she had was: _I’m so lucky to have found my girl._


	21. Entry #21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while listening to I See A Song
> 
> https://youtu.be/aDCIETZnCbw

**The Dryad**  
  


I walk into the lifeless muddy meadow and sigh sadly. I stretch my arms and flutter my fingers. The first step is the grass. Once the rich green strands grow to reach my ankles, I move onto the shrubs. I point to spots in the clearing and small bushes sprout into place. Next is the trees. I bound around the clearing, scattering seeds as I go. I reach my hands to the sky and the trees begin to grow. They stretch higher and higher, until the trunks are easily the height of giants. Strong, thick branches sporadically sprout from the trunk followed by smaller twigs. Red vines curl up the sides of the trees as leaves colored beautiful shades of reds, yellows, and oranges soon create a canopy overhead, allowing sunlight to dapple the grassy floor. I trace a snake-like pattern in the air, carving a shallow dirt trench that weaves through the clearing. I scoop up a handful of dirt then gently move my hand from side to side, sifting out any lumps. I carefully set the lumps back in the ditch before moving to another section. I repeat this process exactly six times then snap my fingers. Each lump split one after the other into different shapes and sizes, then harden to form a variety of pebbles, stones, and rocks. I know I need to take a moment to recharge, so I stand in the sunlight for a moment and admire my progress. A doe trots over to me and nudges my hand. My faithful companion, Serenity, has returned to me. A joyful tear slips down my cheek and falls into the now rocky ditch. It fills with water, turning it into a babbling stream that languidly flows through the center. She happily bounds through the clearing as flowers appear in her wake. I laugh and sit at the base of the tree closest to me. She settles next to me, resting her head in my lap. I smile and close my eyes. My work is done, and now we have a new home.


	22. Entry #22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backstory for my awesome steampunk hat

Sylvia scurried off with a small satchel full of gears of varying sizes, shapes, and colors she’d scavenged from behind the many workshops that lined Main Street. She weaved her way through the crowded sidewalks with a wide grin plastered on her grease-stained face. She quietly opened the workshop door behind _Scarlett’s Munitions and More!_ only to find she was face to face with Scarlett herself.

“And just where have you been, missy?” She questioned sternly as she placed her hands on her hips. “Why is your face covered in grease?”

“Miss Flora’s sewing machine needed to be oiled!” Sylvia lied cheerfully as she walked past. She had already spun a tale just in case she was caught coming in late for her shift.

“If I call Flora, will she be able to vouch for you? Or are you lying to me?”

She bowed her head and stared at her shoes as she quietly mumbled a reply.

“Answer me, Goldstone! Are you lying or not?!”

“I was out scavenging for more gears,” she quietly replied as she tossed her satchel onto her workbench and it landed with a soft jingle. “I forgot my watch and lost track of time…that’s why I’m late.”

“And pray tell, just what _are_ these gears for?” Scarlett inquired as she carefully sifted through the contents of the satchel.

“They’re for a personal project I’m working on,” she stated in a crisp candid tone.

“What you do in your spare time is none of my concern. Now please get to work. The polish is in the same place as always,” the red-haired woman said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

Sylvia nodded before grabbing her grease stained rag and a tin of golden polish which gave the guns their signature brassy sheen. She hopped up onto her stool and opened the tin of polish. The lid made a quiet clink when it was set on the steel surface of the workbench and she sighed as she dipped the rag into the polish. She began the repetitious chore of preparing the guns to be displayed in the front of the store. It was dull work, but it kept her off the streets.

Once she finished her job, and the guns were polished to Scarlett’s image of perfection, she grabbed her gear-filled satchel and rushed out of the workshop. She weaved her way through the same crowded sidewalks before finally reaching The Greasy Gear Tavern. She threw open the door, startling Cassiopeia, the resident bartender and guardian of Sylvia.

“Hi Cass!” She called as she toward the back door.

“Ah! Just in time to help me unload the delivery truck!”

“But-!”

“I’m just kidding. I know your project is your main priority right now. Be careful you don’t burn yourself, missy,” Cass says with a chuckle.

“Thank you!” Sylvia dashes out of the bar and into her makeshift workshop in the garage. Her tailor friend, Flora, had made a special top hat with fireproof fabric so she could weld gears onto it herself. She dumped the gears onto the workbench and grabbed a small blowtorch. She put on her goggles, tied back her hair, then got to work.

She finished welding the gears onto the hat about three hours later. She wiped the sweat off her grease-stained brow with the back of her arm and stepped back to admire her hat. She clapped with glee and put her goggles around the base of the hat then walked over to the mirror. She set the hat on top of her head and smiled.

_Father would be proud of my creation._


	23. Entry #23

I smiled to myself as we held hands, our synced footsteps crunching in the snow. We’d decided to take a walk downtown to see all the holiday decorations. I looked over to see snowflakes landing in her midnight blue hair, creating an inky night sky with bright stars falling into place. I took a deep breath and the cool wintry air heightened the tingly sensation of the peppermint melting on my tongue. We walked in comfortable silence and I thanked my lucky stars that my red string of fate had led me to her. This year, I finally had someone to spend the holidays with and I couldn’t be more excited.


	24. Entry #24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having a rough day and felt extremely overwhelmed, so I used writing as a method of catharsis. This is the result of my angst.
> 
> I was listening to Blue October at the time, so I used some lyrics in here as well

I stare at the screen in shock and I know I’m doomed. It’s happening again, and I can’t do anything to stop it. I clutch my head as my thoughts scream so loud it eventually turns into static. He taps my shoulder and I open my mouth to find that I can’t speak around the lump in my throat. I point to the homework on my screen and he nods in understanding. Tears roll down my cheeks as my breath quickens. He picks me up and closes the lid of my laptop before sitting on the edge of my bed. I wrap myself around him, shifting myself into the koala position and bury my face into his neck. He wraps his arms around me tight enough to just barely overrule the static. Yet I still find myself crying into his shirt. Frustration gives way to relief as I purge the negative emotions from my body. The static eventually dies down and I take a deep breath.

_You give me a quiet mind, and I, I love you._

“Feel better?” He asks and I look up into his sky-blue eyes.

“Yeah…and sorry for getting your shirt wet,” I reply sheepishly, and he chuckles. It’s a wonderful sound, it comes deep from within his chest and bubbles up into a joyfully low rumble of thunder.

“Don’t worry about it, I can always change later. I’m more worried about you right now. You’ve been at it for hours, and I think it’s time you get some rest.”

“But-!”

“No protests. I know you’re planning to stream tonight, so it’s better if you get some rest now so you’re not tired later.” He leaves no room for argument as he pushes himself further onto my bed and draws up his legs so I can properly sit in his lap. My train of thought becomes lethargic as sleep begins to overtake me, and the last thing I register before I succumb to the darkness is him singing softly.

_“_ _We found our home  
Something we can build for years  
The young and old  
I'll be there to wipe your tears._

_We all get to see  
Who we grow up to be  
An anchor when in doubt  
An ocean when in drought._

_We aim for it all_  
We lift up these walls  
To make this house our home.”


	25. Entry #25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a catharsis entry

I’ve been in my head too much. I let myself slip into my old ways, and I’m angry at myself for regressing back to the comfortable yet harmful routine. I’ve built a fantastical world, but I was quickly ripped from it and back into reality. I’ve lacked motivation to write, my grades are slipping, and I only feel joy in fantasy anymore. I want the pain to stop, but I know it’s a part of life. I need to heal, but I can’t ditch my old ways for they will haunt me. I have all the help I need, yet it’s not enough. I need more help. I need more comfort. I’ve lost the careful balance I worked hard to create. I can’t seem to wake up from this horrible dream. I never really grew up. I don’t think I ever _will_ grow up. I’m basically a child in the wrong body. Everything is just so crazy, confusing, and chaotic. I want to stop time so I can sort everything out. But life keeps moving whether I want it to or not.


End file.
